Really to work, study and live is getting a wee bit more complicated than I thought. Specially the living... and the studying... and the working... But, hey, besides that my life is great... Except for the tinsy little fact that there is little more left to it.

My writing is as good as gone, I'm afraid. Or maybe I need more time to settle in. I have to make it work. To prove myself I am good for something more than studying and keeping alife a modicum of social life. I hate it when it gets personal. Because I always loose when I fight myself, and strangely enough... I never win.

At least my mom is not on my nerves because of my Oh-So-Not-Concealed-Gothness. I can listen to all the music I want, however depressing, or classic, or operistic, or whatever.. And I still live plenty inside my head. And Augustine is alive and kicking, and actually enjoying herself every now and then. At my expense, of course. And I lost some of my crankiness.
Don't look too happy. I only said SOME.

I don't know If I want my old life back. It used to be so... safe. And yes, it is so cliche I'm dying in here... But it is also so bloody true. It was hard, but I had known that kind of hard all of my life, every new challenge was faced on a common, safe ground. And now everything is alien and unwelcoming, yet exciting and oh-so-more-challenging and stimulating.

I am so afraid, and so alone. It's the first time I dislike the feeling of being on my own as I do now. I think that is what scares me the most.