The Ranting
It comes when you least expect it and at the worst possible moment. It might be when someone you know and never liked ask you whet have you how your love life is doing right after she introduces you to her underwear model/witty entrepeneur of a boyfriend, and you know all you have been dating lately are loosers anmd that your friday and saturday nights are filled with Poe, French study and the History Channel. It comes when you doze off at a class and the teacher asks a simple uestion you believe it to be asked in another language altogether. It comes when a cute guy you have been eyeing asks you politely if you know that you have a bit of lipstick in your teeth, trying to be helpful (as if...).
You open your mouth, knowing that only your wit and sharp intelligence can grant you a smooth and victorious exit from this connundrum and then you feel it coming, so swift and powerful you cannot close your mouth quickly enough. Before you know it your lips are moving and it's happening and you are powerless to do anything but hear yourself, and beat yourself up over it...
You are ranting, so incoherent and mumbling and painful that you wince internally and shake your head mentally. You want to scream, you want to make it stop, you want to tell everybody that it was not planned that that isn't you. That you are coherent and sharp and articulate, and that you think things over before blurting everything out.
Ranting, rambling, whatever it is is ruining you ate the moment so you have to resort to you hated enemy 'pathetic fleeing excuse' to bail you out for the night. And when you are sure you are alone you find a hard surface and bang you head against it, knowing that no matter how much you vow never to do that again you will, and probably before you realize it.
And then you wonder what good Debate did on High School and realize that on top of it all you spent three extra hours at school on friday afternoons during your Senior year for nothing. Nice feeling, Huh?
You open your mouth, knowing that only your wit and sharp intelligence can grant you a smooth and victorious exit from this connundrum and then you feel it coming, so swift and powerful you cannot close your mouth quickly enough. Before you know it your lips are moving and it's happening and you are powerless to do anything but hear yourself, and beat yourself up over it...
You are ranting, so incoherent and mumbling and painful that you wince internally and shake your head mentally. You want to scream, you want to make it stop, you want to tell everybody that it was not planned that that isn't you. That you are coherent and sharp and articulate, and that you think things over before blurting everything out.
Ranting, rambling, whatever it is is ruining you ate the moment so you have to resort to you hated enemy 'pathetic fleeing excuse' to bail you out for the night. And when you are sure you are alone you find a hard surface and bang you head against it, knowing that no matter how much you vow never to do that again you will, and probably before you realize it.
And then you wonder what good Debate did on High School and realize that on top of it all you spent three extra hours at school on friday afternoons during your Senior year for nothing. Nice feeling, Huh?
Warm and fuzzy, just like nausea.
posted by Augustine at 3:16 PM
1 Comments:
You forgot do say how humillan is when someone is waving at you and you wave back only to realize he is waving to the person behind your back, or when someone tell´s you that his parents are dead, that he just been fired from work, that his girlfriend dump him and that he has no money left and nowhere to live you satr laughing as if it was the most amezing joke in the history
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